Happiness Now!

We all know Bobby McFerrin’s iconic, even haunting lyrics of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!” McFerrin’s song is a sarcastic and somewhat of a sardonic comment on social inequalities and the burdens they impose on those who are suffering from being economically or socially underprivileged.  For those in poverty, suffering from evictions or addictions or worse, the glib remark “Don’t worry, be happy!” comes down from those higher up in the power structure as if to say, accept your lot, “be happy” with whatever you can eke out to survive even in deplorable conditions. I am not sure how many listeners realize this is the subtext message of the song lyrics, but listen again, especially to the painfully sarcastic tone:

After listening deeply to this song one day on the radio while driving about, a day or two later I started realizing a basic truth in my own life or personality. First, I realized one morning how in so many ways, I am right now, already, truly, deeply happy! I have much to be grateful for.  I do not need to wait for achieving happiness as some lifelong, distant goal; which in some ways I have been doing, ‘working toward’ a greater, elusive ultimate happiness. Many people I have interviewed for the life mapping process I present in Your Life Path (2018, see side panel) have similarly expressed achieving happiness as their “Life Dream.” So, this realization that I do not need to wait for happiness if I can recognize it underlying the present moment was eye-opening. Then, I thought, I will blog about Happiness Now as this week’s theme.

Then, however, life happened (again, who knew?!).  With some unfolding complications in my day-to-day life, over the next few days I had a second realization: I am a worrier.  I live alone, semi-retired, with my dear dog Sophie who needs special care for diabetes and with my lovely cat Emily, and I feel a great responsibility to care for all of our wellbeing. I teach online and feel responsible to deliver a quality education to students. I rent a home and feel responsible for its upkeep. I also feel seriously about my responsibilities in my spiritual community, and to my writing projects. I take everything, in sum, “so seriously.”

When worries prevail, I am absorbed in problem-solving and fulfilling my responsibilities, caring for my pets, and communicating with my dear family, friends, and colleagues.  Once I can work out a pathway through a particular cause for concern and at least begin to take actions to alleviate the weight of a particular worry, my intrinsic happiness finds its way bubbling up to the surface again.  It is always here, beneath the burdens. Then I know I am as happy now, today, as I will ever be or could ever hope to be. 

images are from pixabay.com

The worries many feel who are oppressed or beset by difficult health or social conditions are certainly real.  But maybe McFerrin’s ironic words “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” are also a wise and compassionate call to the awareness that beyond one’s worries, happiness really does exist Now and can be found beneath (or, above?) the burdens and real obstacles one encounters. 

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Better Endings Story Seed

Happiness Now!

Here is a process you can use to excavate your present happiness:

1. List up to three (no more) current worries. Write about each of these in your Better Endings Journal (any loose-leaf notebook or journal will do).
2. For each of the worries you have identified, list 1-3 steps you can take now or that you can plan for doing in the near foreseeable future that will help you to address and alleviate key aspects of that concern. (Begin taking the first, most doable step. E.G.: Ask for help, create a budget, etc.)
3. Once you feel the burden of worrying about your most pressing responsibilities or concerns lift because you are taking actions to help address the concern, allow yourself to relax. Take a walk, get out of the home, maybe get together with a loved one.
4. Before sleep or when you rise in the morning, let yourself FEEL your deeper happiness, apart from your concerns. Contemplate what you are grateful for.
5. (Repeat)

A NEW YEAR of Better Endings

This new year at Better Endings for Your Life Path let’s explore Tools for Better

Endings. I will introduce and model the Tools each week and I invite YOU to

practice Better-Endering on your own! You are welcome to send me your story

(lkwatts@uccs.edu) if you would like me to share it on the blog (I will give you an

author’s byline if you’d like for your Better Endings reflections or story). 

We will practice FOUR Tools for Better Endings relating to a personal Question or Goal you can set in Week One of every month: 

Week One (of each month):  I invite you to set a personal Question related to a Goal you are contemplating in your life.

Week Two:  Consider any DREAM events, dream messages or dream images relating to your Question or Goal. You may reflect on current dreams or on earlier dreams you still can recall that relate to you Question or Goal.

Week Three:  You can explore your inner guidance that relates to your Question or Goal. For instance, what waking dreams, mindful insights, synchronicity, or Golden Tongued Wisdom are you aware of that relates to your Question or Goal?

Week Four:  I invite you to journal about or write out a Better Endings Story. With this story or journal entry you can envision a Better Ending solution and implementation of that solution and insights you have gained with regard to your monthly personal Question or Goal.

The Sacred Marriage

 

This month let’s focus on the stage of the Hero’s Cycle known as the Sacred Marriage.    To Joseph Campbell, drawing from Jung, this is that stage by which the masculine and feminine energies of the Hero are merged, allowing the Hero to go forth as a more integrated Whole Self as s/he continues to pursue their Quest.

To Jung more directly, this is a union of the Animus and Anima and brings about a major transformation of character.  If it represents the actual goal of the individual, it can even be seen as an alchemical achievement of the highest magnitude: Mysterium Conjunctionus!   Masculine + feminine (both energies coexisting within both men and women), or Soul + Spirit, or even Earth + Heaven/ Human + Divine: this is the apex of integrated unity, gold out of lead.

While the Sacred Marriage is often depicted via an actual Marriage of two characters, ultimately it is an internal achievement, as the individual attains a balance within of their animus and anima traits. Because of this, it can occur within anyone as a solo accomplishment or it could manifest as a relationship union.

Integration or even fusion as the Sacred Marriage represents is a significant spiritual development for it allows the Self to emerge as fully formed, as an expression of Soul.

images are from pixabay.com

A CONTEMPLATION AND JOURNALING PROMPT:

Can you relate to the topic of the Sacred Marriage?

Do you feel you have achieved this INTERNALLY, whether or not you are partnered with your spouse or a significant other?

If so, what does this open up for you in terms of pursuing your greater goals? If not, how shall you achieve this; again, internally?

I welcome your Comments and Stories!

The Turning Points of This Woman’s Life

Today I am opening a new weekly post day; on Thursdays I will post “Tips and Stories”. These will be either stories people have sent to me about applying life mapping tools from this blog site (see weekly right panels) to their own live and the insights they gain from this, or reblogged posts from other life path affirming stories or tips from other blog sites. Today opens the genre with Mandi’s artistic representation of her Life Themes and reflections about her Turning Points and the life lessons they have woven into the fabric of her life experience. Mandi is the talented and inspiring author of CagedNoMore, a site I link to and highly recommend following!

The Turning Points of This Woman’s Life

JULY 7, 2014  PERSONAL JOURNEY 3 COMMENTS

                                   

Using the Life Theme Illustration that I created (inspired by the exercise given at Better Endings for LIFE PATHS by my friend Linda), I have identified actual turning points to all of these major themes of my life which are represented in their own portion of this illustration.

1. That sad little girl with the glasses displaying the artwork that she created, with clouds and lightning hovering over her… -This is symbolic of the bulk of my childhood. As an asthmatic, I was unable to play and exert myself with my friends outside. I had really bad allergies and asthma attacks. I also set out with a very low self esteem, as I was a chubby little one (because of Asthma meds), and very few children had glasses in my class. Being made fun of by classmates and an elderly neighbor that is not mentioned,  this imprint was created. My self concept (in psychology: the mental image one has of oneself ) was developing, and it had all come down to this. I knew I was different. I was fat and not pretty. All of the nice pictures I could ever make would never change it. So…The turning point here was HUGE.
2. The Treble Clef that represents my musical experiences growing up was made in red because music was a fire, a passion that flowed through my veins. This passion was an outlet. Though I played clarinet, when I played I did so with as much soul as I could belting out any show tune with a diva-like voice. In high school I earned first chair (for you non musician cats out there, that means I was considered the best or the section leader). Music opened a huge door in my life. This whole band thing led me to auditioning for leader of the high school marching band my second year of high school! I made the cut, held the spot as drum major/field commander of the high school marching band for the rest of my high school career/3 years! I had no clue I could be a leader. At this point, that little girl who saw herself as fat and worthless looked around only to find others staring up at her in awe. Things looked a whole lot different from the top of the field podium directing that band on the football field than they did at my mom’s kitchen table. I knew I could do it. I had it all in me. I had a future! There was something in me far greater than I could’ve ever imagined…the floor of Heaven cracked open just a wee but and the blessings rained down. I was somebody! I knew I could achieve things then. I was smart. My self concept was altered for the better.
3. The Happy/Sad broken heart doodle above the Treble Clef signifies all of the teenage love gone sour due to not only situation and circumstance, but because of my undiagnosed condition and how it strongly impacted my relationships with others, especially boys. Just because the greatest crush I ever had rejected me, and the fact that he and other guys my age were attracted to my friends more than me, made me feel incompetent for love. This belief led me down a horrible path of bad decisions in the dating world, horrible suitors, and tragic endings. From that point on, I failed at romantic relationships simply because of how I let people tell me what I deserved, and who I was.I wasn’t complete nor whole. In order to thrive in life and in love, you must first know who you are! I didn’t find myself, til even after I was married. Better late then never, I suppose.
4. The A+ that leads into The Dean’s List Scroll symbolizes my outstanding academics in high school and into college. I was becoming who I was meant to be, knocking down mountains. Into college, career opportunities were lighting up along with my confidence! Being recognized in such a way really boosted my self esteem. This is where I was at an all time high in my world. I believed I was smart, and so did everyone else…I became a true, confident young woman, headed for success.
5. The Crossing, Green Street Signs, as you can see, say “Danger” and “PhD.” There were 2 roads. I was on that road that led to success, led to completion, led to my PhD!!! However, I took a detour and headed in the way of danger because I had lost my grasp on reality. It was all so gradual, so nobody noticed right away. My life was in part a show, as people believed the lies that I told to make it all fit. Somehow I was justhappy all the time. High risk behaviors became the norm, and flirting with danger was routine. I began to act not accordingly  to any of my morals or beliefs, or who I grew up to be. I defied my religion and all of my own guidelines to life. At this point, I welcomed Bipolar Mania, and letting go of it all, embraced the thrill of insanity…
6. You can see where The Bottle of Lithium below came from! It took a lot of time, a lot of time, trial and error, scary hospitalizations to be monitored and such so that my doctor could find the right combination of meds. to keep me stable, on an even line, so that I could live a normal life. The introduction of these Bipolar medications was another beginning. This was my blessing though! I began to settle down, find a calm that I never knew in all of the storms of my life. Lithium was a savior along with a few other drugs that helped control my Bipolar disorder and bring me back to a state of normalcy!
7. The woman and man kissing a shared heart with the word ‘forever’ inside, are supposed to be me and my husband. Finding my husband was an adventure in itself.. This was a huge change for me. I believed marriage to be a healing. Now I see that I am the healing.
8. The Church on the Bottom Right Corner represents how God never gave up on me, even though I gave up on him at times, and in times of mania, completely let go. However, I was protected through much by The Father and His angels. That’s another post. The prayers of my family and my Church were most definitely heard while I was in the hospital multiple times during the year 2004. Prayer is the most powerful tool that we have as people. These prayers, and the prayersof my own made the difference. I returned to the Lord who protected, healed, and delivered me.
9. Finally, the large Cross in the middle of my illustration represents Jesus, my Savior, my hope, all that He’s done for me. With God as my rock, I made it. He never let go even though I did. I let go of the heart of me. Not anymore. He’s got my back, and lives in my heart forever! In a healthy state of mind, I include Him when making any decisions. I made it back to The Truth. Praise God for delivering me from it all…and for what the future holds!

God bless! — Mandi

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I welcome all of your insights and stories! Linda

Your Shaping Events

Thanks to those who are checking in to follow this site. I invite you to try out the life mapping tools being presented here. They are being presented in a sequence meant to allow you to gradually review where you are at, how you got here, where you appear to be headed, and–if you like–how you can reclaim and manifest your life dream! So start a life mapping journal… This is a sampling of ideas from my book Life Paths (in process of being finalized for marketing / publication). I am traveling until July 8 but I will continue to post regularly on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays (see Weekly Process tab). I apologize if my replies might take a bit longer during this period until July 8. Better Endings to you all, Here/ Now! – Linda

To begin composing a Life Map for yourself, you may start by simply reflecting upon the “shaping” events and situations of your life up to now. The Life Maps Portfolio Handbook, which is a companion self-help Handbook for LIFE PATHS, will provide you with a method for recording these events in a more systematic format than I will give you here, but basically what you can do is make a list!

Ask yourself, what have been some of the most significant events of your life, those that have impacted your life greatly or that have shaped you as the person you are today? I invite you to jot down a bullet list of these events, including a brief account of what each event was about and how it has influenced your life.

Here below is a template you can use to record your shaping events. This is just a heading page; you may write it out for your use.

Everyone is different in terms of how many events you might record. I’ve worked with a 76 year old who recorded only 7 events and with a 21 year-old young man who recorded over 130!

This is not about asking you to remember EVERY significant event from your rich life; there is no absolute or correct list.  All you need at this stage is a representative set of kinds of events in your life that have meaningfully influenced who you are today.

Shaping Event   How It Has Affected Me

__________    ________________

 

So, this week’s Life Mapping activity is just about composing this list of some of your Significant Life Events. I welcome your insights or questions.

Check back Tuesday for some discussion about this reflective life mapping activity.