- Two weeks ago: I am a worrier, always have been. Despite having a strong spiritual focus and an excellent educational background, I often worry my way through situations, asking for inner guidance along the way. And, worrying has served me well, arguably, overall. I think of the Don Maclean verse:
… there’s no need for turning round,
‘cause all roads lead to where I am;
And I believe I’ve walked them all,
No matter what I may have planned.
One spiritual outlook that I accept as true is that each of us, as Soul, is on one level the Divine experiencing facets of Itself through our experience. This is a liberating awareness. Since each of us is unique, then Divinity is at once both the All and in the One (or, the one). The phrase “I am That I AM” expresses this awareness. In this sense, sometimes I feel any movement in a new direction or in the pursuit of deeper truth or broader understanding is not only potentially a spiritual step forward personally in consciousness, but also allows the Divine to expand upon Itself, even if by an infinitesimally small degree.
There’s a lot of value, for me, in this outlook. It does not mean I might not make a mistake; indeed, I have and could; but when I do make a mistake, I accept to learn from that, and that learning too can benefit the Whole.
I guess what I am saying is that life is learning about who we and others are in relation to life as a whole, in relation to divine love. And since we are each so individual based on the singularity of our unique constellation of experiences and understanding, then we might just as well accept ourselves and our life circumstances for what they are here and now within our limited frames of consciousness.
- Today: A Difficult Turn of Fate
This starter blog above that I was working on two weeks ago was prophetic in deeper terms than I could have imagined. My dear Sophie developed an eye infection that I did not recognize or catch in time. Three days ago they had to remove her right eye. Certainly cause for new worries now. WE are in recovery mode from surgery for two weeks until they remove the outer sutures, and using an arsenal of eye treatments to keep her good left eye well moisturized and healthy. I have been reeling, trying to figure out how best to adjust to this new change in Sophie’s health.
My Worrier fear is that something could happen to Sophie’s remaining good eye and I (Warrior) cannot allow that to happen. I feel like, since I live alone with my Sophie and Emily (our cat), I cannot leave the house again or leave her unattended, ever. I am using Instacart again for shopping and have talked with a good pet sitter (a nurse and former vet tech) who can come sit with Sophie while I go to rare, necessary appointments. Otherwise, I guess I will have every opportunity to get back to my writing ambitions with more time and focus as well as to tend with plenty of time to online teaching and Zoom based spiritual activities.
images are from pixabay.com
With all of this as the culmination of a difficult, challenging year physically for Sophie and myself, I am starting a new cycle of counseling sessions to help me exteriorize what I am feeling and to unblock my energies for looking forward again.
May the Blessings Be!
Better Endings 