Work & Career Better Endings



My Italian housemate tells me that in Italy, where his father lives, people do not “live to work”, but rather, they “work to live”.  How about you; do you live to work or work to live? This week we will explore what Better Endings might mean in relation to work and career topics. Is Better Endings about better pay? Or is it about greater personal fulfillment from the job or career itself?  How can you maximize Better Endings in relation to your work or career?

Paradise island

The Maori of New Zealand were at one point considered by psychologists and by psychological anthropologists to have the lowest incidence of mental disorder of any cultural group in the world. When psychologists studied what they were doing to promote such a state of wellness, they found a number of factors relevant to how people experienced their daily lives in relation to stress factors. First, the Maoris tended to tell their dreams to their family members, and if a parent recognized a stress factor being expressed in the dream content, the parent might suggest a way to relieve that stress or conflict. An example I have read about is that a boy said he dreamed a neighbor boy had stolen a toy. The parent asked the dreamer then to go give that toy to the other boy as a gift.

A second factor of Maori wellness was attributed to a practice referred to in the literature as “Time Out”.  If an adult were feeling overburdened by stress in relation to their family or daily work load, they could announce at a community meeting that they needed Time Out. They would be allowed to stay in a hut slightly away from the village for as long as needed, while others took care of their children and responsibilities. Then when the person felt ‘mellowed out,’ as we might say, they could simply rejoin the community and resume their lives. Others might tend to treat them with less demands after this because of the need for Time Out which they had publicly displayed.


How different our Western, daily workaday lives tend to be! How much can we “crunch out” in a day’s travail seems to be the measure, if not of our happiness, then at least of others’ esteem for our industriousness. Vacation time will not release us from those stressors that may build up even higher while we have our “precious” time away. Indeed, with today’s smart phones and laptop technology, it is becoming harder to truly separate from one’s work even while on vacation.

So, this week, let’s contemplate the value of “work” in relation to career and also in relation to personal fulfillment and vocations (hobbies, arts or other stress-relieving pastimes), not just jobs. Perhaps in the process of reviewing and reflecting upon how we/you DO  work and career related activities, you can gain some insights about ways you might wish to make adjustments for the future based on your core values, your life priorities and sense of purpose.

As always, I welcome and invite all of your insights you might wish to share via Comments and stories.

Wellness Tips, by findingmyinnercourage, and The Positive Flavor of Words, by DancingDolphins (Re-Blogs)

Stress Is The Enemy Of My Health

Posted by findingmyinnercourage 01SaturdayMar 2014


It has become imperative that I avoid stress in my life and make a conscious effort to maintain and achieve a healthy mind. Eliminating stress will leave me calm yet energized, focused yet relaxed. This I know after just one instance of eliminating stress in my life.

Here’s how it’s going to work! I’m going to push the boundaries of science and belief; digging deep into my spirituality and learn ways to improve my life, eliminate stress and find the happiness I crave.


  08SaturdayMar 2014

Posted by findingmyinnercourage i

To My #1 Grandson –

It’s important for me, as your Grammy, to pass on to you the pearls of wisdom I have learned throughout my life from the kindness of others.

As you grow and learn my wish is that some of the following thoughts will guide you as you begin your life’s journey to be the best you can be while experiencing a rich and happy life filled with family, friends and those you interact with in the years to come.

Never leave the house without your sense of humor.

You can grow up and become anything you want.

Respect and learn from your teachers. They are heroes.

Work on developing an appreciation for music, art, literature and other forms of expression. It will nurture your soul.

Work to help those less fortunate and also work to ease the burden of others by treating them with respect, praise, kindness and good manners.

Embrace the differences in others and learn from them. And always love and respect your parents. You are the greatest gift they will ever receive.

Each day, show people you love how much you care. They won’t be around forever.

Practice forgiveness. Not for the person you believe harmed you, but for yourself. Anger, pain and resentment are a heavy burden to carry throughout your life.

If someone treats you with kindness, a warm smile and a quiet thank you speak volumes.

Please learn to accept people for who they are, not who you think they should be.

Learn from the past, live in the present and plan for the future.

Limit your use of sarcasm. It is often used as a disguise to hurt others.

Believe in yourself. Others may question your integrity, honesty, optimism and faith. Always remember that you are special, unique and the only you that will ever exist. Make friends with that as soon as possible.

Don’t put yourself down. There will be enough people in the world who will want to do that for you.

Embrace changes that enrich your life. Learn to tolerate and make the best of those that don’t.

Your Dad is a brainiac. Absorb every fiber of his being.

Know your Creator. By knowing your Creator, and following His guidance, you will fulfill achievement in the pursuit of your dreams. Always, always say your prayers!

At the age of 3 you have already learned how to create happiness by receiving and giving unconditional love to everyone you come in contact with. My heartfelt wish for you is that it continues every day of your life.

Love, Grammy Dawn (a/k/a Meechie)


******   ******


The Positive Flavor of Words (by DancingDolphins)

Words such as “rise,” “flourish,” “grow,” “shoot up,” “spring forth” have such a positive ring around them that anyone can imagine the action rather than the mere inflexion of the word. Some of the words in the English lexicon are such positively-flavored words that using them really helps one feel the positive vibe or positive feel of such words.

Some other words are “pristine,” “clear,” – these reek of such pure vibes that one feels their pull and can have a visual picture before their eyes when these words are uttered.

Do you agree?

PTSD Can Affect Survivors Of Natural Disasters, by Cristina Goyanes (Men’s Health)



I found this article that is very relevant for our weekly theme of Surviving Disasters. I repost it here in lieu of our usual Thursday Guest Blog:.

Do You Have PTSD And Not Know It?  How Hurricane Sandy put you at risk

By Cristina Goyanes for Men’s Health (Prevention News / control/click to access original article, or )

The phrase “post-traumatic stress disorder,” or PTSD, usually conjures images of combat zones and car accidents—not Frankenstorm-smashed communities.

But the truth is, any life-threatening event, including natural disasters, can trigger the condition. Evidence of this dates as far back as the Great London Fire in 1666. And in the wake of Hurricane Sandy’s destructive impact across the Northeast and Mid-Atlantic in late October, many people, especially those who are still displaced or living without heat or electricity, may be showing symptoms of the disorder.


“Regardless of the type of traumatic event—be it a rape or a hurricane—the symptoms that follow are similar,” says Spencer Eth, MD, a psychiatry professor at the University of Miami and associate chief of staff of mental health at the Miami Veterans Affairs Healthcare System. “Feeling bad after a natural disaster is called being human; it’s normal to be angry, irritable, and anxious. But if you start to feel worse over a certain period of time, don’t ignore it.” (To learn more about different types of anxiety disorders, check out our helpful guide.)

Take Hurricane Katrina survivors, for example. “Research shows that people who waited a long time to feel relatively safe again—meaning they had more difficulty finding refuge and taking care of their basic needs—tended to develop PTSD,” Dr. Eth says.

Your move: Keep track of how you feel for one month in the aftermath. If each day starts to feel a little better, you may be in the clear, says Robin Kerner, PhD, a psychologist who is trained in psychological first aid response to disasters and works at Manhattan’s St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital. The likelihood of developing PTSD is not high (about 30%), unless you’ve experienced previous trauma in your life (i.e., child abuse, war tours) or have a history of mental illness.

There’s also a slight chance you might have a delayed reaction, not expressing symptoms until months or years later. Kerner’s best advice: Practice what she calls the Grandma Cure. “Eat right, exercise, get a good night’s sleep—all those things our grandma and mother told us to do are good for our mental health,” she says. “Also, focus on creating new traditions and new routines to help cope over the holidays.”

Sandy survivors: If by late November or early December you’re experiencing any of the symptoms described by Dr. Eth and Dr. Kerner, talk to your doctor.

You can’t turn off instant replay It’s normal to re-hash a horrific event (like watching your things float away in water) in nightmares or flashbacks. But when you’re constantly seeing, hearing, and smelling frightening things as if they were happening all over again, you might have a problem. It doesn’t help that your TV keeps showing devastating footage of the event. Do yourself a favor: Change the channel, both on the tube and in your mind.

You refuse to return to the scene of the crime After 9/11, lots of people stopped flying. The same reaction applies for Sandy victims: You may not want to return to where your house once stood or rebuild your home to make it habitable again. Sure, it’s easy to want to pick up and start fresh somewhere else and never set foot on the beach or boardwalk that reminds you of the catastrophe. But emotional numbness and avoidance will not help you cope with the situation, or truly move on. Face the facts, and if you can’t, don’t isolate yourself—try to stay as socially connected as possible.

You feel ready to blow a fuse You’re not sleeping well. You can’t concentrate. You’re feeling extra jumpy and on-edge. It’s normal to feel these things if you’re tired, hungry, have no heat or power, and can’t fill your gas tank without waiting in a ridiculous 2-hour line. But if you continue to feel bad and pessimistic about your future, talk to your doc.