A Better Endings Yeats Poem about Building Bridges of Understanding

Driving home from spiritual activities the other day a poem came to mind and I realized this poem is very appropriate to this year’s “better endings” theme of Building Bridges. It is a poem by William Butler Yeats, long one of my favorite poets, so much so that I memorized several poems from The Selected Works of W. B. Yeats when I was in my late teens and these poems continue to inform and nurture my life nearly 40 years later.  The poem is “Words.” Notice the Better Endings theme in Yeats’ effort to communicate effectively to his beloved:

 

From memory 1/19/20:

Words

By William Butler Yeats

I had this thought a while ago:

My darling cannot understand

What I have done or what would do

In this blind, bitter land.

And I grew weary of the Sun

Until my thoughts cleared up again,

Remembering that the best that I have done

Was done to make it plain;

That at length I could cry,

At last my darling understands it all,

Because I have come into my strength,

And words obey my call.

That had she done so,

Who can say what might have

Shaken from the sieve?

I might have thrown poor words away

And been content to live.

I can so relate; can you? I feel that building pathways of understanding is the very basis of human experience.  Whether through art, poetry, fictional narrative, memoire, or basic day-to-day conversation, through language and other expressive forms we communicate, either more or less effectively, and perhaps more or less in a reciprocal fashion as well. We listen and we share. Listening probably should always come first, even listening to our own thoughts as well as to what the other is truly sharing, so we can communicate truly, not just remaining stuck in our own ideas.

This is a key to unlocking schismogenesis or downward-spiraling discord, this month’s topic.  Communication, to be true, must forge a bridge of mutual understanding and mutual acceptance.

Maybe even Yeats could have added how his ardent desire to express himself fully to his beloved would benefit from listening well to what his beloved was also aiming to express to him. Communication is a two-way process, not one sided.

So, life is art, art is life. By that I mean, day to day we strive to express and to understand one anothers’ expressions.  As such we move forward, rather than being entrenched. As such we may yet proclaim, ‘Ahah!’ when we finally hear another’s thought or viewpoint as their art form, with genuine appreciation. Perhaps only by so doing may we overcome barriers to harmony and mutual growth in the human community.  Would that the political discourse of the day would share that better endings goal!

Just Listen (Doo-Da-DO!)

Saturday is First Principles day at Better Endings. We focus on a principle that fosters ‘better endings’ with regard to our weekly topic. All this week we have been emphasizing “mindful communication” or mindfulness as a Better Endings principle. The underlying behavior associated with mindfulness is: Just Listen. That can mean both listening deeply to another as well as listening deeply within.

We cannot HEAR if we are not in a LISTENING mode. WE cannot LISTEN while we are talking in our head.

So, how can we become better listeners in order to be better communicators or to engage effectively in “Alchemical conversation”?

Perhaps you might say–now I am listening inwardly–that it begins with setting a proper INTENTION.

Ah, yes. Well spoken. And how can I or we set a positive intention to communicate deeply and well?

Be open and direct about your intention; seek to establish common grounds.

But intention is not always explicit in the moment of exchange.

Then LISTEN so you may HEAR your friend’s intention, rather than swiftly react.

Does Listening need to be mutual for alchemical conversation to ensue?

Yes. “Your state of consciousness is your level of acceptance.” So is the other’s.

What can be HEARD when I/WE Listen deeply?

What can be SEEN is HEARD with the HEART.

So mindfulness is being Heartful.

Heartfulness is being Mindful.

Words fade in significance. Unconditional Love is All.

******   ******

Can you tell in the ‘conversation’ above Who is conversing with Whom? Alchemy is Archetypal!

Better Endings to You!

******

The universe is always speaking to us.
… Sending us little messages,
causing coincidences and serendipities,
reminding us to stop, to look around,
to believe in something else,
something more.

~ Nancy Thayer ~

Reblogged from Soul Gatherings 

I welcome your Comments below, or you may send your insights for a Guest Blog, or your Story to be posted!

Practice Mindful Communication

Have you ever wished you could go back and change those words you spoke in a relationship? or with a departed loved one? or with your child? Are there certain situations that seem to “bring out the worst” in you, instead of the best, with respect to communication? Here then is your chance to revise what you said then, or to better prepare for what you will say, next time.

Tuesdays are Prompts List days at Better Endings. I invite you to use the list of topics below to write/journal, actively contemplate, or talk about a REVISION of a communication situation in your life. Create a dialogue that revises or remodels how you did, or would, engage in a conversation, to improve the outcome more in the direction you might wish that sort of conversation might have gone, or could.

Woulda/ coulda/ shoulda…but if you practice the principle of Better Endings we are developing weekly with this blog, you CAN change habits and improve communications in the present as well as envisioning how you might have done better in the past.

Already this week since I have been practicing some communication “re-writes” with respect to recent workplace and past personal relationship situations, I find myself becoming more mindful in the present moment with email and face-to-face conversations. Mindfulness, especially Mindful Listening to others as well as to ourselves, is the First Principle of Better Endings that governs the Prompts List this week.

So, here is a Prompts List, below. How might you apply a revision to one or more of the following situations? Go ahead, Practice Better Endings! I invite you to pay attention afterwards as you go through your daily life, to see how you may apply this principle Now!

• what you wish you WOULD have said
• workplace communications
• email communication
• social media communications
• what to say to someone who has lost a loved one
• what you wish you had said to a departed loved one
• how you might rewrite or revise a conversation that went awry
• how you might repair words said under stress or duress
• talking with certain others: your child; your boss or employee; your spouse/ significant other; a stranger;your pets
• changing bad communication habits (e.g. situational cursing)
• revising road rage thoughts or talk
• improving specific kinds of situations in which you have trouble communicating
• finding just the “right words” (e.g. editing)
• self-talk: positive affirmations
• self-talk: revising negative self-talk
• other-talk: revising critical harping or gossip

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

Please feel free to share your results, comments, insights, and stories!

Better Communication to You! – Linda