Better Endings for YOUR Life Story

Several years ago I stumbled onto a journaling practice of composing “better endings,” at first for films whose conclusions I had never liked, then for literature and historical events (e.g. what might have happened if the Titanic had never sunk?).   Then I realized I could apply this same principle of creative license to my own Life Story adventures, as could anyone.  I began a blog called Better Endings (betterendingsnow.com) to explore this principle of creative re-visioning and discovered it is a rich tool we can use to review and reflect upon any life situation or ambition—past, current or to come—to envision ‘better endings’ scenarios, and to bring those about in our lives.

As a cultural/psychological anthropologist and linguist, I understand how we humans live our lives as episodic and even as epic narratives; we each gradually build our own Life Story that bends and turns in many directions and we construe our own mythic Life Story in terms of Life Themes, Life Chapters, Lessons, Quests, and Purpose or Mission.  I like to say that we humans are Homo Narrativus: we experience and tell about our life events as structured narratives, full of meaning, lessons, and import. 

For several years I taught a university humanities course—co-taught with a Classical historian, at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs—called Myth, Reason, and Your Life Story. The History professor provided lectures on the history of mythology for 8 weeks, while for the other 8 weeks (students shifted mid-semester to receive both segments), I engaged the class in a Life Mapping process. The Life Path Mapping process (see my resulting book Your Life Path; Skyhorse, 2018) guided the students–in conjunction with lectures on rites of passage, Joseph Campbell’s Hero Cycle, Jungian and more recent archetypal psychology integration techniques, research findings from my own intensive life mapping interview research, and a history of theories of the life course—through a journaling and creative life mapping process that let them review and reflect upon their lives: past, present and to come. 

images are from pixabay.com

Better Endings: A Guidebook for Creative Re-Visioning (Central Park South Publishing, May 2022) is the next step in the life mapping process I developed in those humanities classes.  This book offers the opportunity to “refresh” your life course midstream!  I have included journaling pages in this book that allow you to play with the principle of Better Endings ‘re-visioning’: first (for Part One) with film endings, literature and historical events; and then (for Part Two) with critical events and situations of your own Life Story—past, current and to come! 

The fun, interesting journaling prompts in Better Endings can help you—as they have for me—to arrive at meaningful closure for some of your life situations and to become un-stuck (!) from considering your current and future possibilities.

“Live Your Dream, Now!” was the through line for my 2018 book, Your Life Path. This new book, Better Endings, (now available in softcover, hardcover and eBook formats from all major book retailers) lets you take the next step in your own Life Story to create the life of your dreams. Better endings…are new beginnings!

Say “No!” to the Nothing

Recently my dear sister gifted me with a wonderful event we shared at the local performing arts center: the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban film, accompanied by a live soundtrack and choral music by the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra. This was a truly sublime performance. However, just before the show was to begin, the conductor said something that alerted my attention.  He was encouraging the audience to be interactive with the film, which was fun.

                                      “Cheer for Harry; heck, cheer for Voldemort, if you want.”

This last part, an open invitation to cheer for evil incarnate, struck me as a sour chord. I have seen too much of this invitation to align with the Dark Side over the past fifteen years or so in popular media.  It was soon after the release of The Hunger Games (March 2012) on the big screen that the Sandy Hook massacre (December 2012) of children occurred. That was preceded five years earlier (May 2005) by the portrayal of Anakin Skywalker’s initiation into the Dark Side in the Star Wars saga by deliberately murdering Jedi ‘younglings’ in Revenge of the Sith (Episode III). Fast forward to the Disney version of The Force Awakens, where Darth Vader’s grandson Kaylo Ren murders his own father, the beloved Star Wars hero, Hans Solo. And I don’t even include here the many violent video games, some of which appear on main stream media ads, because I won’t go there to look.

The mass murder at the Aurora, CO theatre, near where I was living then, was during the opening of a dark Batman installation, and the murderer was dressed as The Joker.  At all Star Wars movies, some young people dress as Darth Vader or later, as Kaylo Ren, to attend the shows.

All of these images remind me also of the advancing of The Nothing as depicted in The Neverending Story (July 1984). Here the young hero learns he must resist and counter encroaching Negativity–of bullies in his life but more archetypally of the encroaching Darkness of materialism and narcissism in the world.

As well, I find a flaw in many of these blockbuster fantasy sci-fi stories in the salvation of Darth Vader and Kaylo Ren, for example, in the concluding episodes of their series.  After recklessly destroying whole planets and and maliciously murdering countless individuals with commands like “Kill them All!,” somehow we are yet encouraged to celebrate these same evil characters’ ascension into the Light for having acknowledged the evilness of their actions just before their deaths.  To me this plot element is unfortunate, unacceptable and just plain wrong.  Karma has yet to wield its ‘balance’ on the actions of these evil and fully culpable characters.

The true Balance of the Force, I would argue from a Better Endings perspective, is the Middle Path. As we wind through our Soul journeys we aim to find that balance by recognizing and accepting the full consequences of our harmful thoughts, words and deeds; eventually (over many lifetimes perhaps) coming to embrace and extend life affirming, generous actions, and overall developing unconditional, detached love for all life.  We need not be for nor against anything to Hold to the Center; we acknowledge responsibility for all of our thoughts, words and actions, knowing that to truly unfold spiritually we must balance our immature or evil tendencies with awareness and total acceptance of the consequences of our misdoings.

The cultural images of anti-heroic characters like Darth Vader, Kaylo Ren, or the Joker are expressions of shadowy archetypal potentials usually submerged and checked by more life affirming, positive human potentials. I recommend to not release the Kracken in ourselves, although to recognize such tendencies and seek therapy can be highly beneficial.

images are from pixabay.com

Better endings benefit the Whole… of humanity, and of our Selves. May we anchor to that solid core of Balance, to discover and celebrate the Light.

Inspiration

What Inspires Your Heart?

Lately I have been reminded about the importance of feeling inspired in our lives; about what it means to live a life full of vitality and purpose.  I feel sad for people who may too often feel they are “just getting by,” without a guiding star to light their journey, especially in their darker times or when the world itself seems cast in turmoil.

So, how does one find that guiding star that leads to their own True North? Purpose, meaning, service orientation, and mission come to mind as avenues to explore.  Inspiration is grounded in a clear sense of positive, life affirming potentials in these regards and in the confidence that it is possible to express and fulfill these potentials.

Now of course, a person’s sense of purpose, mission and potential may vary considerably from day to day and certainly shifts over the course of their lifetime.  For some, they may feel their primary purpose is to serve and share with family, coworkers, and community, giving unconditional love, generosity and support.  Being able to serve their loved ones and community in such capacity can bring deep fulfillment and fresh inspiration, day by day.

For others, it may be artistic talents or career activities that could even propel them to sacrifice normative relations like marriage and family to develop their capacity to serve their art or career or even life itself by expressing their wise thoughts, vision, hopes, and dreams that may inspire not only their own adventures but also others.

I take inspiration at its most basic definition to be the “in-dwelling of Spirit.”  However you might personally understand or define Spirit (i.e., life force, Divine Love, “the Universe”, etc.), It is life-giving and life affirming, bringing vitality and positive awareness into our hearts and minds and leading us ever further to explore  not only our own potentials but that of the cosmos at large.

I will share that honestly this renewed focus on inspiration is partly in response to an apparent recent upsurge in stark negativity in world affairs.  From wars to mass shootings to political polarization and rampant materialism, it can seem that a sense  of purpose or mission, meaning, service orientation, and inspiration itself may be lacking or on the wane in many sectors.

We—most of us anyway—cannot readily change the world, yet we each have the capacity to seek out and to find our own True North: guiding principles and values that bring joy and happiness, and acceptance of differences, into our own life journeys.

images are from pixabay.com

When I was young, going to college in my twenties, I rode around on a little Puch moped as that was all I could afford for transportation. I had this image of “Hitch(ing) My Moped to a Star” as I scooted about in my purposeful activities of going to school, sharing with my friends, attending spiritual classes, and the like.  I went to the first Star Wars film (A New Hope, episode IV) 12 times on my little moped, feeling like I was a rebel fighter in my individual speeder (that could reach 40 mph!).  I felt inspired and strengthened by hitching my path (metaphorically, my  little moped) to a Guiding Star, even practically as a moped can feel pretty small in relation to all the big trucks and cars whizzing past!

So I encourage you to reflect on what truly and deeply INSPIRES you! What is really worth focusing your energies upon, and what is not?

Better Endings to All!

Flexible Persistence: A Key to Better Endings

A major underlying principle for maintaining a ‘better endings’ mindset is FLEXIBILITY.   My personal analog for the sort of flexibility needed to foster better endings derives from fencing.  As a foil fencer on a successful intercollegiate tournament fencing team in the 1970’s, I learned quite viscerally how “movement” is all important for creating, recognizing, and acting upon opportunities to “score.”

ADVANCE – RETREAT – FEINT – ADVANCE – BEAT – RETREAT – DOUBLE RETREAT – DOUBLE BEAT – DOUBLE ADVANCE – PARRY- DOUBLE DISENGAGE — RIPOSTE-LUNGE! (Et Lá!)

The above choreography is an example of the sort of on-your-feet (LOL) maneuvering that might happen in the Moment of a fencing bout for one ‘touch’ sequence. (Dear Ro, my former Teammate: I hope you are reading!)

In fencing as in life, if you are too rigid with your plan of attack, for instance; or, if you freeze on the piste (fencing strip), you are quite likely to be hit (touché!) by your more fluid opponent.   But if you remain in constant motion, both physically with your footwork and mentally with your awareness, you stand a good chance of creating the opportunities, at least, for scoring. 

Better Endings shift as your awareness expands.  One day you might consider one hopeful new direction only to realize an even greater goal the next.  The process of moving in the direction of your goals helps you to understand the deeper reasons for seeking these ‘better endings.’  So, you benefit from remaining open and attentive to your own needs and the needs of those around you who might benefit from your actions as well.

I find myself working constantly on self-improvement, which I believe is true for most people, especially once one starts to see how the process of self-improvement really can produce positive results.  I like to try new approaches to situations in life that may not have worked out great by earlier means, then to learn from the new results.  

images are from pixabay.com

One quick example: rather than taking personally potentially hurtful statements someone might make in an online Zoom session, I am learning how to truly forgive and forget…well, if not to forget, at least to accept and move on without countering or reacting negatively myself. 

In fencing terms that is called fencing “with absence of the blade!”   Et lá! 

Better Endings Story Seed:

Flexibility: Your Key to Better Endings

How about you?  In what arenas of your life do you find that being flexible helps promote your higher awareness and illuminates your deeper goals? How might this lead for you to ‘better endings’ in a situation with which you are currently engaged?