When I coach people through a Life Path Mapping process, during a reflective phase I ask them to consider how they have managed transitions in their lives. For each major Turning Point they have identified with their life mapping, I ask them whether in retrospect they wish they would have done anything differently and, if so, what might have transpired.
Most life mappers tend to say they would not make any changes in their past decisions or choices, because of all the subsequent change that also would have occurred. They have learned from whatever has happened, so why look back? Yet, those who do entertain this almost taboo thought experiment find it illuminating because it helps them to focus on what really are their core values and long-term goals.
Significant relationships often bring about Turning Points in our lives. Entering a new relationship, with another person or with a pet or with new colleagues as you assume a new role in your career, opens many fresh opportunities for growth and development. It is like you have pressed a REFRESH button, although of course soon you are likely to encounter similar situations and challenges you have faced before. How will you approach this similar challenge this time?
One way to ‘trouble shoot’ fresh relationships is to review your past. Take stock of the strengths you bring to these new relations as well as the patterns of inhibitions or difficulties you have encountered before.
Here is a Better Endings journaling tool you are welcome to entertain:
Reflect upon a relationship from your life history that was never well resolved or that continues to be troublesome in some respects, or one that ended poorly. Consider that situation as a STORY. Now then, change that story. Imagine and/or journal about and re-write the ending or a better resolution of that relationship. What might have happened or could happen differently?
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(After my own reflections today): If you find on reflection that you feel there is nothing about your past relations that you COULD have changed (as that is how it seems they were meant to be), still you can look ahead and contemplate what changes you might make as you approach a new relationship or to improve your present relations.
The more attention you give to how YOU might improve your past relations, the better prepared you may be to go forward with a new attitude, welcoming the new opportunities before you!
I welcome your Comments and Stories!